In my last post, I wrote about the valuable lesson God was wanting to teach me about the responsibility of truth.
I feel like the second part of that lesson is what I am beginning to experience — truly letting go and trusting Him with truth and how or when it is revealed.
It’s one thing to acknowledge that you are not in control. Sometimes God makes that VERY easy to do. It’s another thing to sincerely trust whom is in control without being privy to what He knows. It’s choosing between limited perspective (us) and limitless perspective (God). Most people and ALL worldly systems are set up on the former perspective.
But, when we choose a life of Christian faith, we step into the world of limitless perspective even though most of us never manage to understand that and apply it to the circumstances of our life on Earth. It’s just not easy to do when various “things of life” bear down on us and stare us in the face.
Like many, even when I come to God and trust Him for answers, I still want to know the plan. ”I’ll follow the plan, just tell me what it is, God! I just want to see the path you are asking me to walk beyond the step in front of me before I take that step.”
I want some kind of glimpse into the whys, hows and whens of my life journey. It’s as if I let go to acknowledge that He has the best answers, yet I still want to make sure they get carried out how I would carry them out. And I end up in the same frustrating place.
Even when authentically focused on God and trying to hear His will, it still, unfortunately, just doesn’t work that way. When we give up control, we have to give it all. We don’t get credit for giving up partial control.
Part two of the “truth” lesson.
As I continue facing some unpleasant matters and various challenges in my life, a new feeling has begun to emerge inside my heart and spirit. Decisions lay in front of me that have to be made, but the information I need to know to make the decisions on my own are just not at my disposal — and won’t be given. Only God knows “the plan,” what lies down the road for me and others and what certain situations are “really” about.
The new feeling is one in which I honestly don’t have to know the future anymore. I don’t feel a need to beg God to just answer the few questions I don’t have the answer to and reveal what He has planned in several areas of my life. And in doing so, free ME to make the decision.
I just want to know what He wants me to do and let HIM alone make the decision. That’s it. I don’t need to know why or how or what it means…just…simply…what does He want me to do that I can do now in regards to the various challenges I face currently or might face in the future?
Once again, it all boils down to the battle between limited perspective and limitless perspective. And which one we choose to submit to and trust.
I’m starting to get comfortable only knowing the next step instead of the entire path (not 100% there, but further along than ever before). Starting to get comfortable in simply knowing the next move instead of how everything is going to play out. Believe me, that is a HUGE change for me.
Maybe this was the step God has been asking of me lately…
