Yesterday (July 1), I turned 21 for the second time…literally. It is amazing to look on my birth certificate, see a birth year of 1967 and yet encounter people all the time in their young- to mid-30s who look older than me or no less than the same age (WHEN my weight is down where it needs to be…sigh). And, likewise, to see people my age and think, “No way I look that old,” because I simply don’t (others confirm that all of the time). Few believe it when they hear I have entered my 40s.
For me, birthdays beginning with “4″ are not causes for celebration. Even though there is much to look forward to and a lot of life left, they are reminders of years gone by and what “won’t be again.” That includes some pretty fond memories and areas of life one would love to have a chance at a “do-over.” It’s not worth getting depressed over, of course. And it is dangerous to focus on what’s behind us and then miss out on what could be in front of us.
Other than a group of friends since seventh grade and my family, I’m always able to slip my birthday under the radar and unnoticed with more recent friends or co-workers — just the way I like it.
My son, Chase, normally spends the day with me if he happens to be at his mom’s on my birthday, but for some reason that didn’t happen this year even though he was in town and had said a week earlier he wanted to do so. So, I spent a quiet day at the house focusing on many of my “life tasks and decisions” at hand. Part of my time was dedicated in prayer for some really specific needs, numerous that have been the same requests for many, many years and often spoken with the feeling I should just quit asking.
I’m really deep in a phase of desiring and NEEDING some pretty strong and clear answers from God to issues that I have “knocked, sought and asked” about over and over and over. Direction is desperately needed for numerous decisions, as well as the resources to handle what I feel God has asked of me the past five years and the toll it has taken in “worldly” areas despite the incredible peace I have and the many spiritual blessings.
In the evening, I went with a friend to the Texas Rangers game (I’ve spent much of this spring and summer at The BallPark in Arlington) with great “comp” seats 30 rows behind home plate. Chase has taken a huge interest in baseball this past year and we’ve been to half a dozen games together. Nearly every time, he asks how he can get a baseball and wants to catch a foul ball like every other kid in attendance.
Last time we were at a game, I told him that I’d been going to games all my life and never caught a foul ball. I tried to explain how rare it is and “it just doesn’t happen” for most people, so don’t get his hopes up. He was disappointed with that reality because getting a ball from an actual major league game is something he is focused on achieving.
At the start of the seventh inning, I was texting something on my phone, when suddenly my friend yells, “Heads up!” I looked to my right as a foul ball landed in the empty row behind us, bouncing right toward me. Instantly, I thought of Chase and our recent conversations and reacted instinctively with a well-timed reach back and snag of the ball right before three other pairs of hands converged to only grab the air left behind.
A foul ball…on my birthday! I couldn’t believe it. That wasn’t among the list of my urgent prayer needs of the day and recent years, but I had to chuckle inside regarding the “coincidence” of so much foul ball talk with Chase and then one practically landing in my lap on my birthday in seats I didn’t know I had until the day before the game. Maybe it was God trying to let me know that “all things ARE possible and anything CAN happen.” He does speak to us in the most simple of ways sometimes, requiring us to be open to the possibility and willing to believe.
One birthday tradition that dates back to when I was six years old is having orange cake. It started with a Safeway store brand, but has evolved into various reincarnations of orange cake attempted by mom, stepmom, girlfriends, friends, etc. when they heard about my routine. (The best ones are those that incorporate candy orange slices into the icing — HEAVEN!). For the first time in 36 years, I did not have orange cake for my birthday and at the end of the night, while tucking the foul ball safely away at home for Chase, I realized the missing piece of my day.
Alas, some traditions are just meant to die and I’ve been working out hard and avoiding sweets for awhile anyways, so it was for the best.
Then, today at lunch with a group from Life in Deep Ellum, we ate at a place that gives away free desserts. It is a once a week stop for us and the rotation is usually lemon cake, german chocolate cake, coconut cake or carrot cake. Since I hadn’t been eating sweets, one of the guys reminded me that I had to tell them I didn’t want the free dessert so I wouldn’t be tempted.
Take a guess what “first-time” dessert came out — yep, ORANGE CAKE. (Do you even have to ask if I ate my piece? Not only that, after relaying the birthday story to the waiter, he brought out some extra cake to take home.) The tradition lives on — and another “God whisper” had presented itself for me to shrug off or take as a lesson.
Yes…I honestly believe the foul ball and the orange cake were connected as reminders to my other more “serious” prayers. Reminders that God knows our needs and can provide in an instant. It is also a reminder that He is a loving Father who enjoys surprising us with the unexpected, even when it rests within the mundane.
For me, I took it as reassurance that even though many of my consistent prayers have not been fully answered as I try and wait patiently through the struggles, He is listening and He knows me.
Sometimes, that is answer enough.
“O Lord, you have searched me and you know me…you are familiar with all my ways…for you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” (Psalm 139:1, 3b, 13)
“And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” (Matthew 6:7-8)
